It so happened during the Spring and Autumn Period that King Zhuang (?-951BC) of the State of Chu was feting his ministers when the lamps suddenly went out.

Taking advantage of the darkness, someone among the ministers made a pass at a favorite concubine of the king. The woman broke free and tore off that man’s hat ribbon. She then told people to light the lamps, so as to find out who had a missing ribbon. The king whispered to his lady: “They are all high officials who have performed meritorious deeds. Somebody committed a breach of etiquette because he was inebriated. It would never do to make him look ugly in public.” So he told the men not to light the lamps for the moment. He turned to his officials, saying: “Let us drink to our hearts’ content tonight. Remove your hats, everybody.” So when the lamps were lit again, there was no way of telling who the improper official was. Three years later, Jin fought a war with Chu. One official followed King Zhuang of Chu very closely so as to protect him. The king asked him: “I have not bestowed special favors on you, why you are fighting so hard today?” he replied: “I am the humbled man whose hat ribbon was torn off that night.”

Chinese prefer that we should reserve opportunities to retreat or to make new choices.