The 1st consideration was age. The prospective couple should be about the same marriageable age, which meant that on the one hand, they had to be old enough to live as husband and wife; while on the other hand, there should be a proper gap in age so that they would enjoy a harmonious marriage life.

According to descriptions in “The Rites of Zhou” and later annotations, a man’s marriageable age ranged from 20 to 30 and a woman’s from 15 to 20 before the Qin Dynasty (the 3rd century BC). After the Warring States Period (475-221BC), the marriageable age for girls was lowered due to the shortage of workforce caused by frequent wars. Later saw a gradual rise in marriageable age in the following dynasties. Moreover, the gap in age had to be appropriate, and that was a great concern for the parents. Any man who was married to a wife more than 10 or 12 years younger than him or vice versa would be held up to ridicule.

Exceptions in the age consideration:
A. “Success in imperial examinations naturally brings pretty woman as wife”
Age is one of the most important standards of ancient Chinese marriage. Yet there are exceptions. From the Sui and Tang Dynasties on (after the 7th century), the scholars, whether poor or rich, took imperial civil examinations as the main ladder of their official careers. Only by passing the imperial examination, can they get the title and honor they want and realize the largest dream of a scholar. With a firm belief of “Success in imperial examinations naturally brings pretty woman as wife”, these scholars focused all their attention on their studies and repeatedly postponed their marriage. They did not get married until they had either succeeded in the examinations or become totally dispirited with their failure. In this way, many husbands were far older than their wives. It was also very common for a poor man to remain single until his middle age because he was unable to afford the betrothal gifts.

B. The custom of child marriage
It was also common for a wife to be far older than her husband due to the custom of child marriage. In a so-called child marriage, a well-to-do family usually adopted a girl from a poor family as their prospective daughter-in-law when their son was still a toddler and held the wedding for them when their son came of age. At that time, this brought benefits for both sides. The husband’s family received a cheap labor and saved on betrothal gifts as well. And the wife’s family was spared the trouble of bringing their daughter up and saved the cost of her dowry as well. This practice came into being in the Three Kingdoms Period (220-280) and developed into a custom in the Song and Yuan dynasties (the 10th-14th century). However, there were many folk songs criticizing the absurdity of this practice, e.g. “An 18-year-old wife had to take her 1-year-old baby husband to bed every day, who cried for milk in the night. Feeling annoyed, she slapped the baby and cried, ‘I am your wife, not your mother.’” This practice collapsed with the collapse of the feudal society.